11.22.2014

House Arrest- It's Fun! : Things to Do When You're Grounded

by Ryan Benson

Sometimes, smart kids do stupid stuff. And then they get grounded. Sometimes, stupid kids do stupid stuff. They too, get grounded. The point is, everyone gets grounded, and it's a real vibe-killer. Like, one minute the world is all, "I AM YOUR OYSTER! YOU ARE YOUNG! BE FREE, BE GROOVY, BE RIGHTEOUS!" And then you come home fifteen minutes after curfew. Next thing you know, the oh-so fickle world is all, "Lol, psych. Betcha didn't see that one coming. Have fun in your room for the next three days/weeks/years." In these situations, I feel like punching the world and my mom. I refrain though, because the world isn't really all that bad, and my mom is a great gal most of the time. After I get over my brief fit of rage, though, I'm still left with the ever-perturbing dilemma of what to do alone, confined to the property lines of my house for the next 48 hours (or however long it may be). To be honest, I've had a couple of mother-mandated prison-sentences myself. Over the years, I've amassed a series of groovy activities that make me appreciate a weekend of solitude instead of curse it. I suggest you read this list of phunkyphresh activities now because you never know when you'll slip up and end up on the ground(ed). Wow that was bad. Alright just read the list. 



1. Call your grandma. The thing about grandmas is they love to be  called. The thing about teenagers is they sometimes forget they have grandmas. Contrary to popular belief, grandmas are actually, like, really cool. Ask your grandma if she was ever grounded in high school. Chances are, there's a rebellious, free-spirited hooligan hiding behind that proper up-do and green sweater-set.

2. Homemade donuts. Need I say more?
Check out this recipe: http://bakerbettie.com/baked-cinnamon-sugar-mini-donuts/ 
And if that one's not doin' it for you try this:
http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/doughnuts-with-grapefruit-vanilla-jelly

3. Sidewalk chalk. Just you in the great outdoors drawing mermaids and rainbows. What could be better?

4. Make a CD for your best friend. Not a Spotify playlist. A real CD. Add the top-40 pop hit that you both secretly love but are too afraid to admit. Add an angry song. Add a Beatles song. Add a sad song. Add a Christmas carol. Add a song that will make her laugh. Whatever song you add, make sure it captures a moment, or a feeling, or a vibe from your epic friendship. The best CD's are thoughtful CD's.   

5. Fill your tub with piping-hot water, dump in your favorite bubble-bath potion, grab a book, and relax. Take advantage of the fact that you have absolutely, positively NOTHING to do on a Saturday night and treat yoself. 

6. Write a remarkably bad acrostic poem. In theory, writing a bad acrostic poem is not a hard task, considering as a general rule, all acrostic poems must suck. Seriously, has anyone ever read a decent acrostic poem? The answer is no. In fact, I consider "a good acrostic poem" to be a paradox. I challenge you, though, to write the worst acrostic poem of all time. This will indeed be a hard feat to achieve, but with a little time and a lot of bad word choice, you should be able to do it. 

7. Pressing flowers. Remember when you were little and you'd go out and pick really funky flowers and then put them in a heavy book and about six months later open that book and be like, "Oh my goodness look at these lovely, dried, pressed flowers. What a pleasant surprise!" That was awesome. You should do that again.     afterthought: pressed flowers would be an awesome addition to a groovy collage 

8. Watch every Audrey Hepburn movie ever. This one goes out to those of you who are too lazy to do all the other phunkyphresh stuff. I shame you for not wanting to write bad acrostic poems, but at the same time, I understand you. Being grounded can be depressing. Sometimes you just don't have the hoopla to be all perky and make chalk creations. Lucky for you, Audrey Hepburn existed. 


Follow me on Instagram for more fun stuff! @ryanbenson99 




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