Order Up: Glitter for Breakfast

by Ryan Benson

Glitter is inedible. It's heart-wrenching, I know, but also a fact of life. Can you digest (lol pun intended) this harsh reality so that we may proceed? Yes? Excellent. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, you're probably wondering what this post is actually about since I obviously lied to you in the title. Sry about that. ANYWAYS, what this post is really about, doll, is homemade granola--and not just any homemade granola. Foodgasmic granola. Fantastic granola. All around dandy granola. If glitter weren't shiny flecks of metal and plastic, I imagine it would taste like this granola. It's that magical. So let's get down to business, pals. 

  • 2 cups of oats
  • 2 cups of nuts and seeds (choose whichever nuts/seeds you fancy! I typically opt for pecans and sliced salted almonds)
  • 1/2 cup of canola oil
  • 1/2 cup of cranberry and golden raisins mix
  • 1/2 cup of coconut
  • 1/2 cup of sweetness (agave, honey, or maple syrup)
  • 2 tablespoons of molasses
  • 1/2 teaspoon of salt
  • 1 pinch of cinnamon or pumpkin spice


  • Heat oven to 250 degrees fahrenheit.
  • Combine oats and nuts and seeds.
  • Place mixture on baking sheet.
  • Toast in oven at 250 for fifteen minutes. Stir occasionally.
  • After fifteen minutes, take out of oven and add canola oil, sweetness, and molasses.
  • Back in oven for fifteen minutes, stirring often.
  • Remove from oven, throw the whole thing into a bowl/container/woven basket/mug/bucket/whatever and stir in the coconut, dried fruit, salt, and spices.
  • Order up! Holler.

P.S. this deeeelish treat makes a great holiday gift for teachers/pals/coaches/lunch ladies/theater directors/anyone you love! Spread the magic.

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